Each month of 2005 and in January, February and April of 2006, five Close Personal Friends of Zakuro earned a place in his Gang of Five for their suggestions for that month's Mind-Control Method of the Month! (The deadline to enter Zakuro's "Mind-Control Method of the Month" Contest was November 30, 2004.) Each Close Personal Friend earned points for their placing: 5 points for first, 4 points for second, 3 points for third, 2 points for fourth, and 1 point for fifth. The five Close Personal Friends of Zakuro with the highest cumulative scores--his Ultimate Gang Of Five (who actually turned out to be six!)--each win a Saiyuki prize. The winners are announced below!
1. Zymz, for "Zakuro's ultimate all you can do with nuts cookbook of DOOOOOOM!"
2. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Sugar-Hyped Five-Year-Old Nephew's Clowns-and-Petting-Zoo Birthday Party of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Mokona, for "Zakuro's Dollar Menu Item of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Nostalgic 90's 8 CD Box Set of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Miramorgan, for "Zakuro's Candy Candy Smile of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Shy, for "Zakuro's Dancing Cactii of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Zymz, for "Zakuro's list of grudges since elementary school of DOOOOOOM!"
[Kagenami Q sez: This was as close to a dead-heat for first as it gets! The Dancing Cactii finally prevailed because they damn near killed me before. A few years ago I was recovering from abdominal surgery, captive in bed and parked in front of a TV, when Disney's "Three Caballeros" came on. Just to chuckle made my guts feel like they were being torn back open, so I already was in agony by the time the movie finished introducing those Three Slappy Chappies in Crappy Serapes and reached the fateful, phallic Dancing Cactii of DOOOOOOM! The rest is a blur of horrible pain, tears, and hooting with completely helpless laughter...except for the part in the closing minutes when Jose Carioca shoves a firecracker up Donald Duck's rump (freeze-frame it and see for yourself!); like the Dancing Cactii, that's an image I'll never be able to wipe my mind clean of...thankfully no one submitted that as a Zakuro method too...!]
3. Coldfire, for "Zakuro's Non-working Cell Phone of DOOOOOOM!"
4. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'Banana Phone' Interpretive Dance of DOOOOOOM!"
5. D-chan, for "Zakuro's Secret Underground Boy Band Base of DOOOOOOM!"
1. UltraM2000, for "Zakuro's Chia-Pet Knockoff of DOOOOOOM!"
2. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'Face of Richard Simmons' Mega Cat Hairball of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Yasuragi, for "Zakuro's Giant Darth Vader made from Legos of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Mousmonkey, for "Zakuro's Hummer Stretch Limos of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Pristine, for "Zakuro's Elusive Beer Can Chicken Holder With Sporks of DOOOOOOM!"
1. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Pomegranate-Flavored Edible Underwear of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Pristine, for "Zakuro's Deep Sea Dwelling Leprichaun Entourage of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Tye-dyed Purple Plastic Buddha Statue of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Dalton, for "Zakuro's 'Cracker Jack' Toy Surprise of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Titania, for "Zakuro's Shoulder-Pinching Vulcan Mind Meld of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Mokona, for "Zakuro's 10:00 am Matinee Movie Ticket of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Miramorgan, for "Zakuro's Bed of Love with Flashlights and Vibration of DOOOOOOM!"
3. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Christmas Lawn Decorations of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Violet Stalker, for "Zakuro's Zebra-Stripe Piggy Bank of DOOOOOOM!"
TIE! 5. Gally Hoshi, for "Zakuro's Low Budget Movements of DOOOOOOM!", and Miyuri, for "Zakuro's Wicked Mailing List of DOOOOOOM!" ("Way of use: you make a list of the people you want to control, you put them on your wicked mailing list of DOOOOOM! and you start sending spam, useless e-mails, fake contest announcements, pictures of their math professor naked...y'know, traumatic stuff...")
1. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Advance Copy of Harry Potter 6 with every other page torn out of DOOOOOOM!"
2. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Hazel-Shaped Dartboard of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Titania, for "Zakuro's Two Ringie Dingies of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Mousmonkey, for "Zakuro's Sharpie Smells of DOOOOOOM!" ("Oh that feeling you get in your head from sniffing Sharpies x_x")
5. Shy, for "Zakuro's Pink Fluffy Scarf of DOOOOOOM!"
1. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Squeaky-Swerving-Wal-Mart-Shopping-Cart Rally of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Yasuragi, for "Zakuro's old school Nintendo with broken controller of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Violet Stalker, for "Zakuro's Year-to-Date Buyer's Club Savings Receipt of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Quatre, for "Zakuro's Endless Holiday Music of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Titania, for "Zakuro's 24 hour infomercial of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Greatest Hits with two previously unreleased tracks of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Mousmonkey, for "Zakuro's Ebay Store of Souls of DOOOOOOM!" ("If a human soul is for sale on Ebay, I don't see why there wouldn't be a store specializing in them as well.")
3. Gally Hoshi, for "Zakuro's panty line of DOOOOOOM!"
4. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Deluxe-Strength Radioactive Silly String Can of DOOOOOOM!"
TIE! 5. UltraM2000, for "Zakuro's 100-year-old Nattou of DOOOOOOM!", and Titania, for "Zakuro's Smell-o-Vision of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Gally Hoshi, for "Zakuro's pole dance to 'I Shot the Monkey' of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Yasuragi, for "Zakuro's iHOP in the middle of nowhere of DOOOOOOM!"
3. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's Super-Sized Revolving-Base Blinking Dancing Bubble-Lit 50's Style Aluminum Xmas Tree of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Dessa, for "Zakuro's Yen-to-Dollar Conversion Rate of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Thorn, for "Zakuro's My Little Pony Paradise Estate of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Ten Ways to Financial Freedom Workshop of DOOOOOOM!"
2. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's '10,000 Animated Smiley-Faced Icons All Blinking and Moving At Once' Pop-Up Banner of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Dessa, for "Zakuro's Impossible-to-Figure-Out VCR Set-Up of DOOOOOOM!"
4. KT, for "Zakuro's Mr. Potato-Head set of DOOOOOOM!"
TIE! 5. Violet Stalker, for "Zakuro's Irrationally Complicated Instruction Manual of DOOOOOOM!", and Bakasaru, for "Zakuro's Fat Jiggly Kitties of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Miyuri, for "Zakuro's Mad Cheeseburger of DOOOOOOM!" ("Good thing: you don't have to do anything. Bad thing: you must buy the cheeseburger. DUH >-<. Well this is how it works: you buy the cheeseburger ["it must be a CHEESEburger?" you may ask. Well, YEAH. Cheese is EVIL. It wants to take over the Earth, just like how it did with the moon] and inject a huge amount of a weird probably-not-safe chemical. It'll grow wings and become a giant CHEESEBURGER!! so you can take over the city, then, the country, and then THE WORLD! ...Or you can eat your cheeseburger.")
2. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Top Secret Zakuro/Sanzo Doujinshi Collection of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Gally Hoshi, for "Zakuro's sing along subtitles of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Mokona, for "Zakuro's Yorkshire Terrier of DOOOOOOM!"
5. KT, for "Zakuro's battle-ready plastic butter knife of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Pristine, for "Zakuro's Star Wars Kid Gone Wild Pose of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Shy, for "Zakuro's Thing I Found Crawling Under the Couch of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Two All Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions...on a Sesame Seed Bun of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Dalton, for "Zakuro's Island Tiki Tribal Statue of DOOOOOOM!"
5. D-chan, for "Zakuro's Melon-Scented Aphid-Repellent of DOOOOOOM!"
1. Violet Stalker, for "Zakuro's Pimpin' Buddha Action Figure of DOOOOOOM!"
2. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'Lost Episodes of Zoobilee Zoo' Forced-Viewing Torture Method of DOOOOOOM!"
3. UltraM2000, for "Zakuro's Mayonnaise Squeeze-bottle of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Dalton, for "Zakuro's DJ Party Strobe Light of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Thorn, for "Zakuro's Retro Aluminum Silver Christmas Tree of DOOOOOOM!"
1. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'That Ain't a Carrot' Easter Bunny Surprise of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Miramorgan, for "Zakuro's Sailor Moon Puppet Collection of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Shy, for "Zakuro's Glowing Fez of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Titania, for "Zakuro's Rent-Controlled Apartment of DOOOOOOM!"
5. Pristine, for "Zakuro's Disgustingly Pink My Little Pony Castle of DOOOOOOM!"
1. SychoGrl, for "Zakuro's 'Exploding Bag of Skittles in the Face' Movie Theater Experience of DOOOOOOM!"
2. Mousmonkey, for "Zakuro's Incessant Credit Card Applications of DOOOOOOM!"
3. Titania, for "Zakuro's Beehive Hairdo of DOOOOOOM!"
4. Yasuragi, for "Zakuro's Starbuck's Caramel Frappacino of DOOOOOOM!"
TIE! 5. Miramorgan, for "Zakuro's 'Close Personal Friend of Zakuro' Contest of DOOOOOOM!", and Miyuri, for "Zakuro's Contests of DOOOOOOM!" ("You DO control us, poor weak people, and make us write these things...in classes...hey, I've got a punishment next Friday 'cause I was writing these controlling mind stuff in science classes! And it's ALL YOUR FAULT! >_< )
Rounding out the Top 20 are: TIE-7th: Pristine, Titania and Violet Stalker (11 points); TIE-10th: Miramorgan and Mokona (10 points); TIE-12th: UltraM2000 and Zymz (9 points); 14th: Miyuri (7 points); 15th: Dalton (6 points); 16th: Dessa (5 points); TIE-17th: Coldfire and KT (3 points); and TIE-19th: D-chan and Quatre (2 points).
Return to JOURNEY TO THE REST: A Roadside Revelry in Saiyuki and its Doujinshi
This page was created February 6, 2005. Last updated May 1, 2006.
This page's text and source code are copyright Kagenami Q. DO NOT REPRODUCE. Saiyuki, Saiyuki Gaiden and Saiyuki RELOAD are copyright Kazuya Minekura/Ichijinsha; Gensomaden Saiyuki is copyright Kazuya Minekura/Issaisha, Saiyuki Project and TV Tokyo 2000; the Saiyuki RELOAD anime is copyright Kazuya Minekura/Issaisha, TV Tokyo, Dentsu and Pierrot 2003; Saiyuki RELOAD GUNLOCK is copyright Kazuya Minekura/Issaisha, TV Tokyo, Dentsu and Pierrot 2004. All images are copyright their respective artists and creators. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.